I’m 46 years old and in April I ran my 5th Marathon distance having been in love with running, cycling, strength training and racket sports all my life. I never felt comfortable pushing to my absolute limits and lived for years with a seemingly irrational fear that my heart or something serious might happen so always respected my health and well-being being. I was never without a wearable tech that monitored my heart rate and recovery and became somewhat obsessed by data on myself.

A month after the marathon in April I contracted Covid, suffering with mild symptoms I sensibly took a couple of weeks rest before returning to sport. In the coming months I saw subtle changes in my data. My heart rate was higher than my effort suggested, then my recovery seemed to be taking longer. I had no symptoms but given my fear I took my concerns to the Dr. I’d already been told I was fit and healthy and this reflected in a low resting heart rate around 40bpm. The Dr said all seemed fine and may be mild long covid and was about to let me go after a quick listen to my heart. 

“There’s a small whooshing sound” she said probably again because you’re fit but let’s refer you for a Holter monitor and Echo to be sure.

I was fortunate to have private cover with work and decided I could not wait 22 weeks for these tests. A week later they were done.

I received a call on holiday in Lake Como on a boat crossing, it was here I was told I had a Mitral valve leak and of all the ratings mine was severe. “At your age, we should operate”

I was also told my heart was stopping every night for a few seconds. I had no idea if the two were linked.

My world changed in an instant; I had a week to try and stay present with my family whilst holding onto the immense fear of the unknown path ahead. 

I spent weeks battling with fear and anxiety around the operation and what might be happening over night with my heart. Every feeling in my chest was magnified, I struggled to sleep, and I couldn’t face any exercise.

Fortunately, it all moved quickly and a month after my holiday I was in for an operation. It was a repair by keyhole and was a success. I was told I’d lived all my life with extra chords on the valve stopping it from closing and I was told my proactive actions probably saved me from something much worse happening.

Intensive care post op was tough, full of drugs and wires and tubes I struggled to cope with mental and physical pain and fear remained including one moment when I believed I was dying.

Now 6 weeks on I have a lot of work to do on the trauma of an irrational fear becoming a reality and then of the difficulties I faced in intensive care where I believed I was slipping away. 

I have a few more tests to confirm all is now good and can’t wait to get back to exercise and grasp life with all the energy and joy it deserves.