Ask how I’m doing, do the pills go down ok?
Somedays I’ll say I’m fine, just to make you go away.
‘If I open my eyes what will I see?’ I opened my eyes and tried to focus. I saw curtains surrounding me and the bright white sheets of the bed. I realised the ‘beep……beep……beep’ was coming from a cluster of medical equipment to my right. I saw leads, wires and screens all around me. A cannula in my arm, a taste of dried blood in my mouth.
The realisation sunk in.
‘I’m in hospital, but why? What’s going on? Why am I here?’
April 2022 I was nearing the end of the Blackpool Marathon. The last few miles had been hard. I’d had what I thought was a stitch for some time. I kept going, sometimes walking, and sometimes running. Little did I know that I was probably experiencing a heart attack.
My wife and two sons were watching from the finish line as they saw someone fall to the ground. They did not know at that time, it was me having a Cardiac Arrest.
A guardian angel was watching over me that day. A fellow runner, who had recently undergone CPR training, stopped to offer help. She, and others, including the ambulance service who arrived with a defibrillator, saved my life that day.
Stabbed through the heart but still stumbling forward,
Got to make it home, broken and tortured.
Out went the light, the blowing of a fuse.
Down went the runner, should have seen the clues.
David Moore, Richard’s dad. – “You never expect to get a phone call telling you that your son, who should be running the Blackpool Marathon, is on the ground and paramedics are trying to save his life.”
After a few days in Blackpool Victoria Hospital where I had a stent fitted, I was sent home with a huge carrier bag of pills. That was really when my life changed forever.
Prior to this event I was probably the fittest I had ever been, 40 years old with no previous serious medical history. I was determined then to rebuild my body and my life, so as soon as I was given the medical all-clear, I returned to the gym, gradually increasing my training schedule. Gingerly I started running again and now 3 years on I have recently completed the Liverpool Half Marathon.
A chance encounter led to me setting up The Southport Saviours Foundation, a charity aimed at providing accessible defibrillators and CPR training in the local community. Through a series of fundraising events we have supplied to date 38 external defibrillators.
Sorting my head out was a different story though. Initially I was reluctant to accept counselling, but so glad that eventually I changed my mind. Somewhere out of this mess poetry appeared. For me it was just a way of sorting and clearing the million thoughts that occupied my head. The words just poured out of me and down onto paper. When I showed others some of what I had written the response was amazing.
Some said “This needs to be published”. Even my counsellor was so impressed she asked if she could share it with others. Maybe this could help others to express their feelings in a similar manner.
The thought grew and so now we have a book published that includes not only 16 poems by myself but other thoughts and contributions by those around me who have experienced the ripples created by this traumatic event.
Lynn Moore, Richard’s mum. – “I never said to Richard at any time ‘I’ve had weeks of crying’. I don’t think Richard even knew the effect it had on me. Crying at work, crying coming back from work.”
Emma Moore, Richard’s wife – “….don’t stop running. This could have happened walking or doing anything, and it’s not necessarily running’s fault..…..it’s not something that will affect your life in terms of doing exercise, going for a drink, going on hoiday……having a life.It was really scary to go running again after……and now I will never run without a phone.”
The trauma and the ripple effect on those around is not in any way particular to Cardiac Arrest. I hope therefore that this book will help and resonate with many others who have experience of any similar traumatic event.
Get the full story at neverthesameman.co.uk
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